Let It Go and Move On
I posted the following on Facebook recently:
“Often when a relationship ends badly, there is a propensity to focus on your former partner with thoughts like, “they’ll never find anyone like me, or I really hope they meet a loser to see how really special I am.” All this energy is directed to them and not on you.
YOU are the most important person in your life and YOUR choices will determine relationship success in the future. So let go of the talk about them and redirect it back onto YOU.
Besides, what’s it matter what they do, right? Why is it so hard to give self-love, is it just easier to pretend they still care and you can change their mind? Thoughts?”
And here are a couple of the great responses I received:
“Misdirected grief and anger.”
I agree. But it’s so much easier to look at what the other person did or didn’t do. It’s tough to take a hard, objective look at yourself and determine what you could have done better (or shouldn’t have done at all).
Relationships take two. Each of us has made mistakes, and realizing them is the first step toward never making them again. You will know exactly what to do and what not to do. What a great way to empower yourself!
To do this, sit down at your computer or with a pen and paper. Ask what your ex would say about you if a third person asked him. Write down or type what you think he would say, and take a good look at your list. How many of them are true? (Don’t forget the good stuff too.)
And more importantly, how many of them are true of you always, and how many were true only in that relationship?
Here’s an example. Many times, a woman will end up mothering (or smothering) her man for whatever reason. She doesn’t treat her friends or family that way, just her boyfriends. That’s a good thing to recognize, and when you realize you do that, you can do your best not to continue in the future.
And when you recognize the good stuff you bring to the table, you can keep doing it!
“Let it go and move on. I am a firm believer that we let it go, and let God or the Universe, or whatever you want to call it, work and not control it. If they are meant to be in your life, they will be in the right time and space. Just let it go. You’re not giving away your power; it’s not giving the power to someone else. Ourselves, we have to do the work, but we have to trust our inner voice… the one that speaks goodness to us.”
This is so true. Even if you don’t have a belief in a higher being, if someone is meant to be with you, he will be… or not. So when you let it go and move on, you live your life to the fullest with no regrets. And you don’t carry baggage to your next relationship.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you ignore previous mistakes or issues, but you have all the power to let it go and move forward to a new relationship. And the next one will be better because you allowed things to simply BE.
It really is easier to focus on the other person, but you hurt yourself by doing it. Discover what you could have done better, and then forgive yourself for it. That is the final step in letting go and moving on. When you can forgive yourself and your ex-partner, you’re ready for the next step in your romantic adventures.