Don’t Give Your Power Away

Finding the right man to love has more to do with how you feel about yourself than with how someone else feels about you. Everyday I hear or read a story about a woman who has, or is, giving her power away to a man. It breaks my heart. This is happening to good women who just don’t know how amazing they are. These kinds of women become an option in a man’s life. Meaning men don’t make their lady the focal point, but just an afterthought.

In my opinion, a woman who is in relationship with a man should never be treated as an option. This sense of being an option often occurs after the woman has given her heart away and has had sex with said man.

Let me explain something. I think it is perfectly acceptable and understandable that a woman gets attached to the man the she is dating. This is called attraction and it is completely normal. I don’t think it is acceptable or necessary to give your power away in the process. Giving your power away to gain happiness through a man is not what love is about. In fact, that kind of thinking can be downright dangerous.

That is why I firmly believe that before dating or embarking on a true love quest, you must first begin with yourself. Self-love, self respect and self worth are what makes a woman irresistible in all areas of life. Understanding how to spark your own inner glow is the key to success in any relationship. Here is a quick tip: others will treat you as you treat yourself. Are you willing to make a commitment to yourself? Are you willing to be who you were designed to be? If so, keep reading, as there are certain elements that get you to the highest version of you.

Begin With Being You

Love is surely a journey and it begins within your own heart, in your own body, mind and spirit. If you are waking up every morning hating everything around you, including you, then it’s time to do some soul searching. Now, I am not saying that you have to magically erase how you feel, or pretend that smacking some positivity on whatever is going on is the answer. All I know is that self-loathing and self hatred make any situation that you may be going through that much worse. Finding your true love is almost impossible in this state. If you don’t have a sense of owning your power and your happiness, and you are not proud of who you are, then you are definitely on the track to finding the wrong man.

The antidote to all of this has a very distinct beginning. It’s you!

Self-love comes when you can find a sense of forgiveness and peace with your past. This may require therapy, lots of journal entries or a whole new environment to begin again. Most importantly self-love is about learning and growing and making a commitment to be the best version of you. As a caveat, your own journey to self-love is probably one of the hardest but most rewarding things you will ever do. Facing ourselves is the truest form of bravery and it has a beautiful and rewarding side effect. It attracts more love. Now, back to self-love and dating. When a woman loves herself, she is happier and she knows that a man can compliment her life, but not complete it. She is fully complete on her own.

Becoming intimately involved with someone often creates emotional attachment. There are many women out there who are afraid to admit just how attached they become. In fact, sleeping with a man can turn your life upside down if he considers it casual and you don’t. Which brings me to my next point in regards to self-respect. If you know that sharing your body with someone is a big move for you then don’t just do it with anyone. Don’t do it especially if you just want approval or if you feel like he won’t stay if you don’t give in.

Self-respect is about respecting your own boundaries and allowing others to follow suit. It is completely ok to have boundaries and any man worth your time will understand that. Self respect goes beyond the bedroom, but oftentimes it starts there in the dating world because let’s face it, things can move fast. Sometimes, it moves faster than maybe you were hoping for. So hold your ground and know when the time is right to move forward.

You are not worth more, or valued more, because someone else has decided so. It’s when you decide that your time, energy, and life are valuable and worth it that you begin to attract what will most compliment your life. If women spent more time valuing themselves and less time dating jerks they would get to where they want to be a heck of a lot faster. A woman who has self worth and owns her power is the most attractive and coveted kind of woman. I know all women secretly want to be a woman who can hold her own power and feel confident in doing so. It requires work. If you are willing to do the work, you will get positive results.


Say No So You Can Say Yes

Choosing to walk away from the man who treats you as an option may be painful. It requires discipline & determination. It requires you to say no to the guy who will not bring true joy into your life so you can say yes to the one who will. There really is no other way to do it. There is no magic pill; there is no fairy dust, and no easy path. Only self will and choosing “self” creates a path to the right kind of relationship for you.

Love is the most valuable currency on the planet. It changes everything. It changes people; it changes circumstances; it changes lives. Owning your power, loving yourself, and living in that truth is what makes love come into your life. If love is the most valuable currency on the planet then how you choose to love yourself is also part of that currency. Think about that.

It’s time for women to rise up and own their power. Women need to find their compass point and begin walking in the direction that it leads with a bold confidence. It’s time for women to be able to enter into relationships without getting lost in them. Or worse, putting herself in danger because she is so devalued by her man. No one can give you this; you have to give it to yourself. So go inward and figure out what makes you light up from the inside out. I believe in you, but most importantly, I want you to believe in yourself.

2016-11-16T01:11:21+00:00 By |Mindset|

About the Author:

Dating is a challenge for everyone. Regardless of age or circumstance, we all struggle to find our perfect match. As someone who has graduated with honors from life’s virtual University of Dating, Jonathon Aslay assists women in finding that seemingly elusive man with whom they can have both compatibility and passion.


  1. teresa July 22, 2016 at 6:04 pm - Reply

    Jonathan, YOU are the BEST love coach on the planet because of this article, Don’t Give Your Power Away. Every woman must read this article. Women today are brainwashed to have sex and use sex as soon as possible to catch men only to be treated as an “option” and discarded. A lot of dating coaches out there are telling women to become “intimate” with men – to please men – by having sex with them, but they do not tell them what YOU are saying — all the other MORE IMPORTANT things which are ESSENTIAL to women’s total well being. Women wake up! Please read this article and ignore those other deceptive love coaches. May all women read this article. and God bless you, Jonathan!

    • Jonathon Aslay July 22, 2016 at 9:46 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Teresa. You just made my day, I am honored.

  2. Guacira September 2, 2016 at 2:31 pm - Reply

    Hi Jonathon
    I agree with Teresa, it is an awesome article.
    Best regards

  3. janette December 2, 2016 at 2:46 am - Reply

    great article ,jonathan

    • Jonathon Aslay December 2, 2016 at 3:05 pm - Reply

      Thanks Janette… 🙂

  4. Tina February 1, 2017 at 5:17 pm - Reply

    Great job Jonathan you are the best coach! I followed many dating coaches advice to be vulnerable and intimate with a man , but he left me when I did and he met another girl and took from her and won’t giver her forever her either. So I will never sleep with a man early or blame myself again. It was terrible. Your advice is spot on.

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