How To Begin Again After Disappointment
We’ve all been through that big disappointment or break up at some point in our lives. They’re hard to recover from… typically because you might feel like giving up or because one or both of you have decided to just move on.
However, it’s important to remember that if you have been lucky enough to have experienced a great love with someone, don’t give up too quickly.
There’s always a way to create an opportunity to start over and for both of you to work together on writing a new story for the next chapter in your lives.
Without a doubt, it’s devastating to go through a major shake up, but your relationship might have needed that massive earthquake to shake up the old patterns, level some of the old beliefs and create new margins. You may want to continue to move apart for a season to allow this shaking to completely subside.
Once the dust has settled (if the building is still standing, that is!) there’s a wonderful opportunity to rebuild and create a new chapter in your relationship.
- Create new agreements so that even if the fault lines underneath shake the foundation, it doesn’t have to lead to a total disaster for the relationship again.
- Develop new communication habits and rituals. Learn to see things through your partner’s eyes and honor them even if you don’t agree.
- Keep working on yourself. Learn from past mistakes and consider how you can handle problems differently in the future.
- When disappointment comes up, speak your truth gently and firmly but affirm your love and commitment.
If your love is real and one that is truly meant to be, hang in there and fight for it. Keep believing in each other and your relationship can find that new chapter. It’s never too late to try once again.
He says one thing but does another. Does trying to understand the male mind make you a bit crazy? Believe it or not men really do want to be in healthy relationships. In Unlocking the Male Mind I’ll share my own insights about men and what they’re really thinking!
We’d love to see you at our Facebook community for ongoing support and conversation!
Nice article! My boyfriend and I recently agreed to split up…over Labor Day weekend is when it happened. It has been a rough three weeks and we are both miserable, but we have stuck by our decision. After this article arrived, I decided to send it to him. He actually read it (that shocked me) and asked I would be willing to visit with him about the article. I will keep you posted on how the conversation goes. Right now we are trying to find a time to “talk” when we are both available and kid free. Kindest regards! Jewely
I have recently decided to end my relationship with a man after 7 months. I learned that this person had lied to me about being divorced. 7 months after I had already grown very attached to him, he told me they were filing papers and seemed to think I should not be surprised. If it were just this that was a problem, I would have discussed it with him further. However, there were many times when he would cut our visits short on a moment’s notice, or have a meltdown about something, and I grew very tired of the behavior. Additionally, the moment when I needed his support (rumors that my department was to be laid off), he thought I was being ridiculous and wasn’t there for me. When I met him, he didn’t have a job and I was there to bolster his confidence throughout his entire job search, and when he finally got a job at the beginning of this month, he was too busy to see me for two weeks. This person was also very moody and self-centered, but I do miss some quirky and delightful things about the relationship we had. It upsets me that I miss him at all. This person also wept at the drop of a hat and was very critical. While I have been pulling away and not expressed interest in getting together again, he acts beside himself that I am not suggesting we make plans. I have started seeing another man who seems more mature, and I will see where this leads. In the future, maybe the former guy will get his act together.