See Beyond Imperfections to the Perfection Within
For years, I’ve watched people date with the expectation that it has to be perfect for love to emerge… and the slightest glitch might send them running away.
It’s a sad thing, but if I had a dollar for every time a client ran from a man who seemed to be a good guy (but of course had a glitch or two), I could sail around the world.
And no matter what I tell women I coach, it keeps happening.
Here’s the thing. We are all imperfect. We all have our past baggage, our hopes, fears, turnoffs, and deal breakers. As humans, our desire to connect with another is very strong, which is why many seek relationship… and yet we all come to the table with our “stuff.”
Now there is stuff we can live with and stuff we can’t. I will never suggest that anyone lives with stuff like addiction, abuse, or just plain yuck. But so many imperfections have nothing to do with any of that. Most are minor yet become major in women’s minds.
Let me show you a few reasons women have run from good yet flawed men.
“He chews too loudly.”
“He’s not over six feet tall, and that’s what I want.”
“He’s only been divorced for a year (never mind that he’s done some inner work and the marriage was over long before the courts were involved).
“He bought me lilies and not roses” or “He didn’t spend enough on me for Valentine’s Day.”
“He lives with his mother (who needs him for a month after surgery).”
I believe these women were reacting from a place of fear and rejecting these men for no reason. Every single one of these women had only been seeing the guy for a few weeks, too little time to really get to know the man behind the glitch and the imperfection.
If we can just set aside the negative for a moment and feel into one’s soul… the real truth lies within. And the truth may be that this flawed, imperfect man is perfect for the woman who’s afraid to see him as he truly is.
So give yourself some time, ignore the loud chewing, the height, and the fact that he’s a devoted son. Look at the man behind the scenes. As in the “Wizard of Oz,” draw back the curtain and see what’s on the other side.
If I’ve learned one major lesson when it comes to love, it is that true happiness happens in the space of seeing beyond the perceived imperfection. Stay passionately detached and look for the truth, not what you assume to be true.