Getting Him To Listen, 3 Things To Do When You Wanna Talk
Have you ever had something to say to your guy, but you weren’t feeling seen, heard and understood?
This is very common in romantic relationships and men often shut down or become void when a woman has something to say. If you have something on your mind and you want to share it, done incorrectly, it can sometimes lead to power struggles or fights.
A simple, “honey, we need to talk,” can turn into World War III for something like “I’m not in the mood tonight.”
For most communication to be effective, it’s not what you say, but how you say it.
When it comes to getting through to a guy, remember the following: conversation, not confrontation. Confronting a guy is the quickest way to a defensive posture and being closed off to anything you say. The more you talk, the more he shuts down and shortly thereafter can turn into a fight which is a no win for either of you.
For example: my girlfriend the other day felt taken for granted because I didn’t pitch in helping with some chores around the house. Instead of jumping on me and screaming her disappointment, she began the conversation in a very loving way. First she asked me if I was open and available to talk. The importance of this is to make sure I was going to receive what she had to say. She then began to express her feelings in such a way that I could tell it was a “we” problem and not a “me” problem. Her tone was very loving (even though I knew she was upset), but she focused on getting her point across without a power struggle or fight. Being calm and knowing I was open is usually the best way to get through to me and I’m sure your guy too. The truth was that she was right and I had taken her for granted, which deserved an apology on my part.
Whenever she has something to say to me, she starts in a very calm manner and she usually knows in advance the outcome she wants. For this reason, she is seen, heard and understood by me because her goal is to share her feelings without getting into a fight.
Sometimes there are some touchy subjects that need discussion and knowing just how to handle those talks can make all the difference between uniting together, or worse, breaking up. Knowing the best way to get through to your guy, can save your relationship. The last thing you want is him pulling away, or worse, asking yourself “why he disappeared” because of something you said.
We Need To Talk ~ Bringing Up The Touchy Subjects is a program my beloved Dr. Sheri and I developed to help you have those tough conversations. In this program you will learn the 3 P’s to successfully navigate any conversation which leads to healthier communication.
So just remember, the next time you have something to say, here are 3 things you should do: start the conversation off calm & loving, think conversation, not confrontation and remember it’s a “we” problem, not a “me” problem. You’ll be glad you did.