When Men Go “Missing In Action” While Dating
Have you ever had a man you’re dating just disappear on YOU?
Let’s say you’re in a relationship with a man, maybe it’s been about 3, 6, 9 months or longer. For the most part the relationship is grand. The initial chemistry was off the charts, the emotional connect you have with him is like nothing you’ve ever experienced.
You’ve really formed a bond with this man and he’s your best friend. He has said the “L” word and he’s even hinted at long term commitment or marriage. He states you’re like nobody he has ever dated and he wants you in his life. He includes you in much of his daily activities and you feel pretty secure. The early stages of dating him was pretty intense and now you’ve settled into a nice routine. When you think back to your last relationship and look at him, there’s no comparison. He’s just gotta be the one.
You’ve accepted him for where he’s at in his life and support him when he has problems. Sure he has some baggage, but heck, so do you.
He might be dealing with an issue at work. He might be dealing with his “ex” wife. He might be having problems with his kids. He might be struggling financially.
All of these issues are weighing on him and you look at him and say “baby, I’ve got your back.”
Because he’s going through all of this, you don’t dump your problems on him. You keep to yourself and keep the pressure to a minimum. You just want to be there for him because when the pressure is off, the relationship is great. You’re the most loving and supporting partner. His problems are your problems, because that’s what partnership is all about. You’re the prefect girlfriend and he should be grateful he has you in his life. He’s so lucky to have you, because you accept him “warts and all.” For the most part you’re really happy and you’re waiting for things to get a just little bit better.
Then, all of a sudden a shift happens.
He’s not calling as much. He’s not returning texts as fast as he used to. He’s been busy and doesn’t have as much time for you. You’re still intimately connected, but you know something is going on. You give him the benefit of the doubt, because he has so much on his plate, but something is just not right.
Then the worst thing happens, he goes M.I.A.
That’s right, he’s “missing in action.”
No contact, no text, no calls, no nothing… nada. Since you know men need their cave time, you figure it’s ok. In fact, you’ve even encouraged him to take space when he needs it.
But now he’s literally disappeared.
You might be wondering… Did I do something wrong? Is he hurt? Has he meet someone else? Is he just not that into me anymore?
You’ve been nothing but kind, loving, supportive, generous, caring and communicative. The two of you are soul-mates, he’s your twin flame… he knows it and you know it. But he has fallen off the face of the earth. How could he do this to me?
You keep texting him, but nothing happens. You make up reasons for him to contact you and still no response.
Then, FINALLY he reaches out to you. What seemed like weeks was really only a few days, but nonetheless, it felt like forever. He says he’s sorry and just needed a little space. He goes on & on about his stuff and apologizes for blowing you off. He says he didn’t want to bother you and he needs to take care of things. He tells you not to worry, all is good.
It’s all so confusing. He says “you’re the most honest, trustworthy, loving, giving, beautiful soul, he has ever known.” You’re not very demanding and you’re a really easy girlfriend.
Now that he is back in contact, you forgive him and figure all will be good.
After a few days or weeks, something still is just not right… he’s off. The relationship isn’t the way it used to be, you feel like he is taking you for granted. You are starting to feel more and more shut out.
You might be thinking…
Why isn’t he respecting my feelings? Why is he now shutting me out? Why is it I’m bending for him? Why is it that I’m the giver and get little in return?
This is a common occurrence, in fact all too common. Before a relationship gets on really solid footing, there’s going to be some bumps and maybe even a few storms. It’s natural for a man to pull back from time to time. How you handle these set backs will make all the difference between a DRAMATIC END or the road to deeper intimacy.
Even in my own relationship, I did a major pull back.
Yes it’s true, even though I’m deliriously in love right now and can’t imagine my life without my beloved, I did pull away (actually, more than once).
My sweetheart knew just what to do when this happened. She handled me in just the right way and I was drawn right back to her when I pulled away. As I think back to when this happened, as a coach I took notes of how she reacted and the way she approached me, which I can now share with YOU.
In fact, there are 3 Things You Can Do To Keep Him Close when this happens to YOU. My girlfriend did this and it might work for you too.
I’ll give you a hint, men rarely ever leave for good when they are HAPPY. So ask yourself this, are you really happy in your relationship? Then ask yourself, is he really happy in this relationship? If the answer is yes, chances are it’s only a short term bolt by him and if you don’t freak out and chase him, he’ll be back in no time.