From Forever to Forgotten: Why Men Suddenly Disappear
You swore for the tenth time you’d never fall for it again… but you did. Dammit, you fell and fell hard.
You meet him, and there are instant fireworks. You fall into his eyes, and you feel safe in his arms. You cannot believe how easy he is to be with, and the chemistry is off the charts. The soul connection is like no other, and the sex is the best you’ve ever had. This man has to be the one. Finally, you’ve found him, and you thank your lucky stars he’s so amazing.
The relationship takes off like a rocket flying into space, leaving you breathless and floating on cloud nine. You hit it off in every way: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. You can’t believe this connection, and you both say it’s magical. You spend all your free time together and still can’t get enough of each other.
It’s meant to be, and you know he’s your soul mate. This is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. This relationship is everything you ever wanted and then some. You never believed in love at first sight, but now everything has changed… you know it happens, and your relationship is proof!
The texts are flying fast and furious, and the affirmations of love build by the minute. You’re seeing each other constantly, and the sex keeps getting more amazing. You want to introduce each other to family and friends. You’re both talking about vacations, family holidays, living together, and even marriage. This feels like a fairytale come true.
Until… the bomb drops six weeks into the relationship.
All of a sudden, he’s GONE. Out of the blue, he disappeared. No loving texts. No calls. No word. NOTHING. He professed his love, and now he’s forgotten you. But you can’t forget him.
You’re dumbfounded, stunned, shocked. You feel like a dagger was thrust into your heart. You go from intense sadness and tears one minute to raging anger the next. How DARE he leave you, the one he was going to move mountains to love and cherish? The one he was going to live with, marry, and have children with?
How could he do this to you?
Then the anxiety, guilt, second guessing, and self-criticism start. You ask yourself all the questions: Why did this happen? Did I have sex too soon? Was I pushy? Were there signs? What did I do wrong? Was I duped? Did I fall for a player?
You feel like the biggest fool in the world, and you’re still hurting from losing him. You wonder if you’ll ever have those same feelings again.
And you still wonder what happened, so you can make damn sure it never happens again.
There’s a simple answer… you fell for the timeless deception of chemistry.
You fell for the oldest drug on the planet. This drug is so powerful that more lives have been ruined and more future relationships have been crushed from this simple little lie.
There is a belief that instant chemistry will lead to forever after. Lust isn’t love. Big promises aren’t love. Infatuation isn’t love. Chemistry isn’t love. From your experience (or your friends’ experiences) how often does amazing off-the-charts chemistry lead to a long-term relationship?
Rarely, and if it does last, it leads to volatile relationships with lots of passion and lots of hurt.
Do you really want that? Nope.
Here’s what happened: the guy rode the roller coaster of chemistry, and then when it started to wear off, he realized for whatever reason he wanted out. Nothing wrong with that, as most relationships don’t last. But instead of seeing you face-to-face and letting you know what he was feeling, his shame at taking you for a ride and not wanting a relationship caused him to flee.
These are the actions of a boy, not a man. A man will be honest with you and let you know what’s going on. If he wishes to stop seeing you, he will let you know.
What should you do if you feel instant chemistry to avoid getting hurt?
- Pace the relationship. Don’t spend all your available time with him. Let him miss you.
- Use the 10-Date Rule. Observe him over at least 10 dates to see what kind of guy he is.
- Always, always date passionately detached. Make sure he’s worthy of your heart (and body) before you give them to him.
- Don’t jump ahead. Live the relationship in the moment, and take your time.
- Don’t have sex unless and until you can handle whatever the outcome might be. If you’re one who bonds quickly or with anxiety, waiting for sex may help you keep this brand-new relationship in perspective.
If he’s the one, he’s going to allow you to pace things. In fact, he will want to let it unfold naturally too. He won’t disappear on you. That man is out there, and he’s waiting for you.
*Please share this post with your friends, so they know how to avoid this painful, entirely too common dating phenomenon. And if you want to learn what men are really thinking when it comes to love, sex and commitment… then you need to Unlock The Male Mind