5 Tips to Help You Jump Back into Dating
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while and it ends, at some point you’ll decide to begin dating. It may feel weird and awkward, but I promise it will get better. I’ve been there, so I understand what you’re going through.
Before you start, make sure the rest of your life is as happy as it can be before you start dating. I’m not saying everything must be perfect, but try to have your life in order. For example, if you’re trying to find a job, make some progress you’re proud of before you start dating.
I just want you to feel somewhat ready to take on the challenge and time consumption dating can be.
One note: if you’re freshly divorced, you may need some time to process, get used to your new life, help your kids adjust, etc. before you date. Again, things don’t have to be perfect, but it’s easier to focus on dating and if you and your kids are at least somewhat settled.
Feel good about yourself and about men.
When you feel good about yourself, you glow and men can’t help but notice. If you’ve been thinking about trying a new haircut, changing your style, or trying something new grooming-wise, go for it! The better you feel about yourself, the more the men will pick up on it and flock around you.
The more you’ve worked through any issues you may have with exes or men in general, the more ready you’ll be to date. If you have trouble trusting men, remember that the guys you’ll date now have nothing to do with the guys you’ve dated before.
Every guy should get a clean slate. Don’t forget what’s happened in your past, but leave it there… it’s history.
Find one good thing about every man you meet.
It may be hard to move on if you still have feelings for your ex, but you need to go forward with your life. For a week, focus on finding something attractive about every man you encounter. It may be that he’s got a nice smile or a smooth voice. Maybe he has an infectious laugh or he’s excited about life.
Find the good in guys… it’s there.
Put picky on the shelf.
OK, this is where I get a little testy when I hear women talking about men. I’ve heard ladies reject men for little things, such as not liking a particular TV show or not eating the “right” kinds of foods.
Those things DO NOT MATTER! What matters is how he treats you and how you feel when you’re with him. How he eats, what he drives, where he lives, what he does for a living, and where he likes to go on a date should not be factors you use to reject or dismiss him.
You wouldn’t want a man to dump you just because you like sushi or you wear red lipstick, right? Those are all petty things and mean nothing in the long run of a relationship.
Focus on fun, and be gracious.
A date is nothing more than a meeting. You’re both learning about each other and deciding if you’d like to see more of each other. The best way to do that is to have a good time together. Don’t let dating be serious. Keep it fun!
If you decide you don’t want to see a guy again, be nice about it. Thank him for the nice meal, the great movie, the fun bowling game, whatever. If you need to tell him you’re not interested, be gracious about it. Tell him you don’t feel you’re a good match but you had a great time with him and wish him luck.
Date curious, and stay passionate and detached.
Don’t allow yourself to become attached or invested too soon. Take your time and be curious about guys. Who are they, what makes them tick, how do you mesh with them? Be open to every possible outcome but be attached to none. When you approach dating this way, you open yourself up and have more fun… and guys find you irresistible.