Online Dating is the New Organic
If I were paid a dollar each time that I’ve heard about the frustrations of online dating over the years, I’d be rich. Wait a minute, I am rich. (Well, I’m rich with life anyway.)
The fact is, for those of us who are over 45, meeting a person through an online dating portal for a romantic connection represents almost half of all new relationships. To dismiss this new way of connecting can significantly reduce your chance of dating success. It’s a new millennium and like it or not, we have to grow with the rapidly changing times.
Some might say that they would rather meet someone organically (meaning to meet them out in public by chance) because they don’t want to waste time looking through online dating profiles and trying determining chemistry or compatibility. And it’s certainly not how they used to do it back in the day.
But here’s the rub (for all of you folks that are out and about in public) you’re probably looking down at your smart phone. Minutes, hours and days are spent looking down instead of looking up and possibly striking up a conversation with someone who is right in front of you. If you think you are going to meet someone that way, chances are you’ll fail miserably.
Successful dating requires a practical skill set of flirting, listening and observation. Too often, physical attraction and chemistry is the driving force of the mating process in the early stages. Unfortunately there is little or no concern about long term compatibility.
A successful relationship hinges on shared context and values.
Therefore, meeting someone in public won’t make that much of a difference in the overall scheme of things. You’re still going to have to make the time and effort to get to know them.
But why do so many struggle with the process? The reason why most struggle with the dating process is that they are more focused on an instant physical attraction and the possible outcome instead of having the mindset of meeting a new person and possibly making a new friend. If that physical attraction is there, it’s like a chemical high that’s all too easy to become hooked on (rather than doing the less glamorous task of trying to determine if they are really a good fit for each other based on things like shared goals and common interests.)
Finally, most people don’t really know what they want because they really don’t know themselves. When you’re clear on who you are, you will just know what’s right for you.
We’re not going to change this “new reality” by suggesting that you should put down your phone and start engaging with people around you (though it certainly can’t hurt!) It’s already ingrained in most of us and it is part of the fabric of our society. Learn to embrace it, at least a bit.
My advice is that if you’re going to be spending all that time looking down, then take some of that time and energy to join a reputable online dating site. Learn to create an awesome profile, be flirty, and practice your skills. Tap into who you really are, then you will be able to understand what you really want.
Then watch and see what happens.
Is it really possible to find love online? In Finding Love Online: 7 Mistakes You’re Making When Seeking True Love and How To Do It Right I’ll show you how to create a standout profile, avoid scammers and much more!
We’d love to see you at our Facebook community for ongoing support and conversation!