Are Long Distance Relationships Realistic?
As a dating coach, I am frequently asked about long distance relationships and the viability of success for those in the midlife years (40-69.) With the exception of those who initially connected in person and then were separated due to careers or other external reasons, most initial connections that begin with distance before ever meeting up rarely ever work out.
Now, that is not to say that long distance love isn’t possible. In some cases people can spend months or years before ever meeting in person, which really makes it a virtual relationship and really is somewhat different than a long distance relationship.
They say with love anything is possible. However, creating a successful day to day relationship requires two things: spending regular face to face time together before committing and making conscious choice to blend lives.
Most folks who fantasize or play at long distance relationships are often wounded to love and the distance allows for a separation to real intimacy. Some people can spend years playing this dynamic without ever having the intent to take it to the next level.
While I’ve seen a few long distance relationships turn into marriage or living together, it was only because both of them made a sincere effort right in the beginning. My belief is that if you want a classical day to day face to face relationship, beginning a long distance relationship is the least effective way to start. You probably want to see how the person acts in their day to day life to really get to know them. And you probably don’t want to spend years out of your life trying to get to know them.
However, long distance relationships do work for some, though it’s certainly not easy. There is no one size fits all solution for everybody. My readers who have experienced success in long distance relationships chalked it up to some of the following factors:
*Had plenty of free time
*Were able to work from anywhere
*Were able to spend extended periods of time together several times a year on an ongoing basis.
*Value quality as much as quantity
*Were able to communicate well over the phone and virtually.
So in conclusion, I’d say that cultivating friendships with people who live within a reasonable distance from you is most preferable. It is possible for long distance relationships to work out, but they will need a lot of sincere intention and effort.
Do you find yourself in a pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable men? Is there any way to break out of this heartbreaking cycle? In Is He Emotionally Distant? I’ll show you how to find a guy that’s worth keeping in five easy steps.
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