Setting Realistic Dating Expectations
The reason why many people become frustrated with dating and long term relationships is because of conflicting ideals and expectations. For example, a woman might expect a man to lead, but complains when his pace doesn’t match her desired agenda.
A man might pretend to want a serious relationship with a woman just to get her in bed. However, he has no clue who she really is and if she’s a good long term fit for him in the first few encounters. Physical chemistry doesn’t last forever and a foundation of shared interests is what’s going to matter the most in the long run.
From where I sit, people’s expectations and illusions are their downfall to creating a healthy and happy relationship. Part of the problem may very well be that people don’t take the time to explore who they are. They need to figure out what they truly want and makes them happy. They also need to be willing to accept others where they are.
If you haven’t defined your ideals yet, take some time to do that now.
Take a good look before you leap. Don’t commit to a new relationship too quickly. Consider having a couple of coffee dates where you can get to know each other without pressure or expectations. Know who you are and learn what’s important to him.
Think about what matters most to you in a potential partner. You may be hoping for physical chemistry, a great sense of humor, authenticity, similar political views, financial stability, a healthy lifestyle and shared spirituality. That person may not have each of these attributes but long term compatibility does depend in part on shared values and interests. You need to determine which ones matters the most to you.
Don’t have such a strict checklist of standards that so impossible to meet that you’ll put people off and lead to constant disappointment..Nobody is perfect and they’ll fall short every time. Learn to be realistic.
But on the other hand, don’t set the bar too low. Don’t settle for someone who is needy, mistreats you or seems to be in constant crisis. If living a healthy lifestyle ranks high on your list of expectations, you’ll quickly become frustrated with someone who lives on junk food and refuses to take care of themselves.
Ultimately, you want to find someone that you can just be yourself with and find some joy and a sense of purpose together. This doesn’t happen randomly. By learning to become more intentional with dating, you’ll minimize frustrations and disappointments.
Is it really possible to find love online? In Finding Love Online: 7 Mistakes You’re Making When Seeking True Love and How To Do It Right I’ll show you how to create a standout profile, avoid scammers and much more!
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