Make Your Man Hold On and Never Let You Go with Tips 17–20
We’re at the end of our top 20 Understand Men tips. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading them and that they have been helpful in getting what goes on in men’s minds. If you’d like more tips, please sign up for our emails on the right-hand side of the page.
Best Understand Men Tip #17
Be yourself. Many women try to be who they think the man wants them to be and lose themselves in the process. They think they should like the same things he likes, such as sports or politics, and feel stifled later in the relationship when they no longer enjoy pretending to be into the same things.
Be who you are at the moment with a willingness to grow and become an even better “you”, but not necessarily a DIFFERENT you.
Why this makes men love you:
Men don’t want to try to guess who you are or who you’re going to turn into if they date you. They want the REAL you, not the female character you think they want. They want an authentic and genuine woman, not a stereotype or a cliché. They want you, lovable quirks and all.
Men don’t want a girlfriend who changes with the seasons or the topic. They want to know who you are, what you want, what you love and don’t love. They want honesty and truthfulness, which lead to trust. How much trust can you have if you’re not showing your guy the true you?
And wouldn’t you rather be loved because of who you really are, not as some persona you’ve created for yourself?
This is not to say you can’t grow and expand your horizons. And it’s not to say you can’t change if you choose to. One of my clients was married to a man who always went camping and fishing, and she hated it so she never went. They later divorced, and she met another man who loves the outdoors also. But his way of camping and fishing is completely different, and she loves going with him. She expanded her horizons and gave him and camping a chance.
Best Understand Men Tip #18
Men love to feel like the only one. Treat yourself to a new feminine dress or lacy lingerie. Tell him it’s something you have never worn with anyone else. He will feel special when he sees it and excited to “see” you care about him.
How this helps your relationship:
Men know you have a past, but they don’t want to know about it. Any time you can start something new, that only he has done with you, it’s a good thing. He doesn’t want to see you in a lacy nightie that your ex saw you in (and took off your body—yes, that will run through his head). He wants to be the first and only.
Yes, it may seem odd to you, but that’s how men are. Use it to your advantage… it’s a great reason to go shopping!
Best Understand Men Tip #19
As you are first beginning to get to know him, take the 5 Love Languages Quiz:
You will have a much better chance of great communication when you know each other’s love language.
Why you want to do this:
Everyone has a different style of love, and each of us has one or two ways of showing love that resonate the most. There are five love languages, and if you know your partner’s, you’ll know exactly how to get him to respond and crave you.
The five love languages are:
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
These are self-explanatory, but imagine if your primary love language was Acts of Service and your partner’s was Quality Time. If you love him as you want to be loved, he won’t get it because he values your time, not your acts of service. And vice versa—he’ll spend time with you without doing something for you, and you’ll be left wondering what he’s doing. It just won’t work.
But when you know his love language, and he knows yours, you can create magic. Both of you should take the assessment (total time is about 10 minutes for each of you) and share your results. You’ll learn more about each other and love each other better.
Best Understand Men Tip #20
When a man thinks that you “have his back,” he will appreciate and adore you. If you support him and not criticize him in front of others, but rather in private, he will feel safe to be himself around you.
There are few things more divisive than telling jokes at his expense (even if the story was funny) and criticizing him in front of others.
Why this bothers men:
When a guy is in a relationship with you, you have the power to make him feel masculine and strong, or you have the ability to cut him off at the knees and make him feel an inch tall. It’s all up to you.
Your guy deserves for you to be proud of him and respect him, just as you deserve his respect and pride. When you tease him, think about it from his point of view. What are you joking about? Is it his job? What are you saying about him when you joke, especially within earshot of others?
All I’m suggesting is to think about how a guy would take your teasing. Just as women can be very sensitive to certain topics, so can men. Tread lightly on subjects such as…
- His job
- His home and car
- His family
- His hairline and weight
- The size of certain parts of his body
If he is sensitive to particular subjects, NEVER tease him about them, and do not mention them in public. Have your guy’s back at all times.
There they are—the top 20. What did you think? Do you have any to add to the list?