Jonathon’s 20 Best “Understand Men” Tips, Part 1
The women who subscribe to my email list (sign up box is to the right of this post) receive regular tips to understand men better. Frequently, I hear from readers who love certain tips, so I’ve pulled out 20 of their favorites.
For the next month, we’re going to take these tips and dive a little deeper into them. Think of this is your Master’s degree training in understanding men now. Here are your first 10 tips.
Best Understand Men Tip #1
When a woman says she’s “fine,” she may in fact not be. She’s just trying to keep her chin up and/or avoid a conversation she doesn’t wish to have in the moment. When a man says he’s “fine,” more than likely, he actually is. Men tend to say what they mean, and that can sometimes get them in trouble. (Have you ever asked a man if a certain outfit makes you look fat?)
Women try to be more diplomatic, which can get them in trouble when they’re saying one thing, but thinking and feeling another (like when you tell a friend she looks good, but secretly think the outfit makes her look dumpy).
If a man tells you he’s fine, trust that most likely, he really is fine.
Best Understand Men Tip #2
Men like a simple explanation because it appeals to his need for mental organization.
When communicating something to a man, you’ll have a much better chance of having him understand your meaning if you put it in the simplest, most rudimentary way possible. You don’t need to elaborate or give lengthy explanations.
He’ll actually get what you’re trying to say with less explanation than you think you need. Less is more.
Best Understand Men Tip #3
There’s a saying that men enter relationships hoping you never change, while women begin relationships hoping he’ll change.
Men resist having to change. They want to be appreciated for who they are, as you do. We all need more appreciation from those we love!
Instead of wishing he were different, appreciate him for who he is. If you don’t like who he is, it’s okay to move on.
Best Understand Men Tip #4
A man wants to make his woman happy.
If he can’t please you, he feels frustrated and unsuccessful in the relationship. That makes him feel like a failure and unhappy. Tell him what makes you happy and let him know when he’s done something to make you feel good; it will make HIM happy to hear it!
** Just remember, make it simple, or short n’ sweet… **
Best Understand Men Tip #5
The male brain takes time to process things.
Just because he isn’t responding to something you said right away doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it or doesn’t care about what you’re saying. It may take him an hour, a day, or sometimes even a week to respond to something you communicated to him, or to answer an important question.
Best Understand Men Tip #6
Do you find yourself feeling dissatisfied that you constantly have to NAG him about things?
Nagging is a sign of unhappiness and frustration. Spend time examining the source of this frustration. Is it something about him or is it about something you may be projecting about yourself onto him?
For example, if you think he’s taking you for granted lately, stop and ask yourself if YOU are the one taking him for granted, too. What is at the core of your unhappiness?
Constant frustration and nagging could also be a sign that he’s just not the right man for you. That’s okay, too, but admit that to yourself before you drive yourself nuts nagging him to change.
Best Understand Men Tip #7
Men want to feel needed. It makes them feel relevant and masculine.
Showing him that you need him is not about weakness. It’s not weak to tell him that you need his advice, or support, or love, or gentleness, or even a helping hand with something that’s broken. Letting him know you need him in these ways makes him compelled to shower you with love.
Caveat: Asking him to help you carry your bags shows him he’s needed. Asking him how to fix or use something properly shows him he’s needed. But texting him incessantly or being suspicious of how he spends his free time because you need his reassurance is not making him feel needed.
Best Understand Men Now Tip #8
Men love to “fix” things, whether it’s a broken lamp or a situation at work that you’re complaining about.
Sometimes women don’t want their man to jump into “fix it” mode when all they want to do is vent about the bad day they’ve had. He won’t be able to stand by and see you suffer without wanting to find a way to make it better, and that might involve some unsolicited advice.
You may want to let him know that you just want to vent, and for how long, and that you don’t necessarily need his advice, and that you just need him to listen. “I want to take 10 minutes to tell you about this terrible thing that happened today, and I just want you to listen. Is that ok?”
If he can’t help himself and his needing to “fix” bothers you, choose to chat with a girlfriend instead.
Best Understand Men Tip #9
Men aren’t as complicated as you think. They don’t need much to feel happy about your relationship. Compliment him, be excited to see him, and see how he responds!
Best Understand Men Tip #10
Interesting, well-adjusted people have lives outside of their love relationship. Your man should have a life outside of your relationship.
Encourage him to participate in healthy activities that don’t include you, and you’ll be surprised how happy he’ll be when he reunites with you!
For even more tips, sign up for my email list on the right-hand side of this page. You’ll wonder why you waited so long!