The Importance of Determining Compatibility
One of the biggest challenges for most midlife singles who are seeking to form a fully committed relationship is determining mutual compatibility. Most of the time physical attraction and chemistry take priority and tend to cloud our good judgement during the early stages of a new relationship. While those attributes are certainly desirable, sharing core values and blending lives is what will determine the longevity of the relationship.
This will create attachment and that feeling of being in love. However, it is shared values that usually determine the outcome of a relationship as well as a willingness to blend lives at some point. This will involve a good amount of communication, setting priorities and at times, making sacrifices.
What typically happens is that couples often overlook or completely dismiss those core differences early on because of the initial physical thrill.
But chemistry doesn’t last.
After awhile, frustration begins to set in because of differences in temperaments, values and interests. They start looking to change each other into a partner that would better suit them. This will create a lot of friction and will put a strain on the relationship. No matter how strong the initial physical attraction might be, it will fade away as resentments begin to set in and ultimately result in the end of the relationship.
If a person has suffered several disappointing relationships because of history repeating itself, they’ll probably become jaded or bitter with little desire to continue to find a mate. This obviously isn’t a way to seek love.
One of the exercises I do with my private clients is to help them identify their what their core values are. Together, we create an individual compatibility matrix which helps them stay focused on their alignment, which is a more mature way to approach the dating process, relationships, and ultimately experience success in finding the right partner.
I’d love to hear from my readers.
- How many of you have experienced incompatibility? Why do you think it happened?
- How many of you fell for the deception of physical attraction and chemistry?
- Has this conversation resonated with you? How do you think you might do things differently going forward?
I’d love to hear your experiences on our Facebook community.
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