Discover More Secrets about Men in Tips 7–10
Have you learned anything new about men in the first six tips? Here are the last four for your enjoyment. Think about how you can apply these to your current or next relationship, and the man in your life will thank you.
Best Understand Men Tip #7
Men want to feel needed. It makes them feel relevant and masculine. Showing him that you need him is not about weakness. It’s not weak to tell him that you need his advice, or support, or love, or gentleness, or even a helping hand with something that’s broken. Letting him know you need him in these ways makes him compelled to shower you with love.
Caveat: Asking him to help you carry your bags shows him he’s needed. Asking him how to fix or use something properly shows him he’s needed. But texting him incessantly or being suspicious of how he spends his free time because you need his reassurance is not making him feel needed.
There is a huge difference between making your man feel needed and you being needy. When you ask your man to do things to help you, that’s making him feel like a man and that you need him. Some examples include:
- Asking his opinion on a work matter, paint color, or mechanic shop. Men like to know that you value their thoughts.
- Starting a discussion on a problem you’re having and asking him how he’d solve it, or putting forth a hypothetical situation to see how he would handle it.
- Just asking him to listen to you vent.
Now being needy is different. This is when you suck the life out of the relationship by nagging, whining, overtexting, overcalling, and in general acting like you can’t do anything without him. I know you don’t do that.
When you do make him feel needed, listen before you reply, and repeat part of what he said to you. If you try to make him feel needed but you’re clearly not listening to him, he’ll feel ignored, not needed.
Best Understand Men Tip #8
Men love to “fix” things, whether it’s a broken lamp or a situation at work that you’re complaining about. Sometimes women don’t want their man to jump into “fix it” mode when all they want to do is vent about the bad day they’ve had. He won’t be able to stand by and see you suffer without wanting to find a way to make it better, and that might involve some unsolicited advice.
You may want to let him know that you just want to vent, and for how long, and that you don’t necessarily need his advice, and that you just need him to listen. “I want to take 10 minutes to tell you about this terrible thing that happened today, and I just want you to listen. Is that ok?” If he can’t help himself and his needing to “fix” bothers you, choose to chat with a girlfriend instead.
Practice asking him to just listen with a topic that’s not an urgent or highly emotional one for you. See how your guy does, and practice a bit more if you feel he’s still in fix-it mode. You don’t want your first time asking him to let you vent to be a highly charged situation, because you could end up upset with each other.
Know that some men just cannot put problem solving aside. Then you need to choose how you’ll deal with that, whether it’s to simply accept it or use someone else as a sounding board.
Best Understand Men Tip #9
Men aren’t as complicated as you think. They don’t need much to feel happy about your relationship. Compliment him, be excited to see him, and see how he responds!
This is the simplest tip of all. Unlike many women, men live relationships in the present. If things are going well currently, the relationship is good as far as he’s concerned. The main thing you can do to make him happy about you and the relationship is to show him your happiness. Speak up. Let him know exactly what he’s doing right.
Do things to make him smile.
- If he brings you a cup of coffee, grin and kiss him.
- When he gets home from work, meet him at the door with a hug and tell him you missed him.
- When he gets in from mowing the lawn, give him a big smile, and tell him how much you appreciate what he did.
And compliment him! Most women don’t let their man know he looks good. Try these:
- Tell him how good he smells out of the shower.
- Pinch his butt when he walks by. And make no bones about how sexy you think he is.
- If a certain shirt is attractive on him, tell him why.
Don’t be afraid to be graphic when you tell him what you like. Unlike most women, men have no problem with being objectified. If you like his butt, tell him!
Best Understand Men Tip #10
Interesting, well-adjusted people have lives outside of their love relationship. Your man should have a life outside of your relationship. Encourage him to participate in healthy activities that don’t include you, and you’ll be surprised how happy he’ll be when he reunites with you!
Men need guy time, just like women need girl time. Encourage him to spend time with his friends. Time apart will make him miss you, and he’ll have plenty to tell you when he returns.
Give him his alone time too, as you’re out with the girls or with family. Time apart is a good thing. It keeps you from getting bored with each other, and it gives you both lives outside the relationship. Spend some time apart at least once a week.
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