Understanding the natural ebb and flow of relationships is like watching the tide go in and out at the beach. There is a natural ebb and flow to the tides. High tide comes rushing in, sometimes catching you off guard with its ferocity. Hours later you notice the water has calmly receded, leaving a great expanse of shallow water or sand in its wake.
When you first meet someone, there is often a surge of passion and energy that can be overwhelming. You can’t think of anything else except when you are going to see them next. It may be all consuming.
However, no relationship can sustain that level of intensity over time. You’ll settle into a natural rhythm as you settle into the dailiness of your life. At times, it’s normal to want to pull back and even feel disengaged from him.
As I look back to how I viewed relationships in the past, I can honestly say that I was completely naive. I always thought (well, expected) relationships to be easy, loving and close at all times.
But reality was a shocker…
* There were days when I didn’t like the person I was with.
* There were days I wasn’t attracted to them.
* There were days I was totally bored.
* There were even days when I didn’t miss them when we were apart.
In the past I saw these feeling as signs as the woman was not the fit for me. I wondered if it was a guy thing to bolt when it wasn’t just right.
From learning about relationships over the years and doing some personal inventory, I’ve learned to view a successful relationship as being similar to the ocean. There may be long periods of tranquility. The depths of love may feel as deep as the Marianna Trench.
Then along comes a storm.
Arguments and disappointments can surge like a tidal wave, leaving you feeling anxious and disoriented, and probably wondering where the heck all this came from.
When we learn to understand that these cycles of ebb and flow are natural to any relationship, we will trust in the natural rhythms of life and relationships and learn to ride the waves as they come in.
If you have found a person that you’re happy with, is aligned with your values and is committed to riding the waves with you as well as enjoying the tranquil waters together, stay with them.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is a conscious choice.
He’s so into you..until he’s not. Why did he just pull away and disappear? If you’ve found yourself in this situation a few times, you’ll love my audio program Why Men Pull Away. You’ll learn how to know a flight risk when you meet him and the secrets to getting him to want to stay close.