View Love as an Adventure
Sunday night, I was watching one of my favorite movies, “To Catch a Thief,” with Cary Grant and Grace Kelly (damn she was gorgeous).
After only two dates (well they weren’t really dates, more like encounters) with Cary, Grace professes she loves him. Cary played it cool, because he was more focused on being framed for robbery then about falling in love. Yet in the end, he falls madly in love with her.
Lesson #1: Men are singularly focused, but we usually come around to love at some point. It just takes a little time if we have other stuff going on.
Lesson #2: While I would not advocate saying “I love you” first, especially after only two dates, I have to hand it to Grace for knowing what she wanted and going after it. (You can do that too, but remember lesson #1.) She chose to view love as an adventure ripe for experiencing, and she wasn’t afraid to get on the ride.
She also knew the risk she took by saying “I love you” so quickly. Remember, back then women were taught to let the man lead at all times. It would be expected that he would say those three words first.
Life seemed simpler back then… man meets woman, they fall in love, and they don’t let a little thing like being framed for robbery come between them. Compare that to all the stuff (baggage) relationships have to contend with today. Emotional trauma, ex spouses, financial issues, or a lack of knowing what one wants blocks many from falling in love.
Lesson #3: Let the unimportant stuff go. I’m not suggesting you ignore your financial issues or stuff your emotional trauma deep within. Fix your issues, but don’t let the emotions that go with them keep you from riding the roller coaster of love. Don’t let fear stop you from the adventure.
Lesson #4: Be like Grace… know what you want and go after it. Do you want a specific type of man? Find out if you’re the type of woman he’s looking for, and go for it. At worst, you may want to tweak your type a bit. At best, you’ll find out you were right all along.
Maybe all it takes is playing it cool, which really means you have your stuff in check and you’re willing to view love as an adventure. Playing it cool means you don’t react, you don’t worry, and you don’t get anxious. You let the chips fall where they may, and you’re not attached to any outcome and don’t expect anything particular to happen.
Lesson #5: That sounds an awful lot like dating passionately detached to me!