As a man, I get that men have needs. But all too often, I’ve seen these needs take priority over treating a woman with basic human decency.
There seems to be this lack of awareness over how men and women connect. When a woman connects with a man on a physical and emotional level, she aims to satisfy not only her desires but those of her partner as well. Men, on the other hand, don’t always connect in the same way and may have different intentions altogether if they are not yet an Awakened Man.
The Key to a Woman’s Heart
For all the gentlemen in the world who truly wish to connect with a woman, know that relating to women requires a conscious effort. When we date without any forethought at all, we are likely to easily mislead a woman in pursuit of satisfying our primitive needs, wants and desires.
However, this is not the ideal route to finding love or companionship.
This approach to relationship leads many frustrated singles astray. They date and mate to fill a void in their hearts only to realize the void is still there despite countless attempts to fill their empty cup, so to speak. So they move on to the next person hoping someone else will be able to keep the void filled.
While it may not be someone’s intent to hurt someone, a pattern is often formed. This pattern tends to repeat itself over and over again because they’re too busy looking outward to find it within themselves to fill a void only they can fill. In the meanwhile, their behavior leaves a wake of pain for the ones who care more.
Now I am not saying all men are like this. There are very conscious and aware men out there just waiting to be loved and cherished by a woman who fills them with joy and happiness each and everyday. Most of the time, these are the men that tend to take their time when it comes to becoming intimate with a woman.
Intimacy is the key to a woman’s heart, but it’s hard for a woman to give away her key without knowing if a man’s intentions are noble and true or not.
I understand it’s hard for anyone to know who someone is upfront, but the best way for a woman to figure out if a man is right for her is by giving her the time and space she needs before deciding what level of intimacy she is willing to share and how much of her heart she willing to give.
The Virtue of Patience
I realize I may sound like an old timer here, but there is something to be said about waiting before becoming intimate with someone. All too often, after a woman has become burned and somewhat healed, she rushes to the bedside of the first man who pays attention to her. The relationship becomes intimate quickly, and the heart and the sexual relations aren’t a match either for her or the guy. If it isn’t a match for the guy, then a woman is left heartbroken. So, my first piece of advice is to wait.
The second piece of advice I have is to avoid hasty men that have no intention of sticking around. Don’t play into his games. For instance, any kind of man worthy of your time is going to be able to communicate. If the guy you’re hoping to connect with doesn’t seem interested in having a real life conversation outside of text messaging back and forth, don’t waste your time. A real man will pursue you. He will call you and he will be genuinely interested in what you have to say before you hop into bed together.
The third piece of advice I have is to be patient. Finding the right partner takes time. Don’t settle. Know your worth. Have fun dating, but make sure you hold your heart close until you are truly ready to share it.
In the meantime, being intimate is a wonderful thing, but understanding at what level you become attached is important as well. You don’t win a man’s love in between the sheets; you win a man’s love by being yourself. Romantically connecting with another human being creates attachments and I think both men and women need to keep that in mind when mating, dating and relating.
Why It’s Not Him, It’s You
I realize that telling women to wait before jumping into the sheets may sound cliche, but I truly believe you can have fun without becoming overly intimate before truly knowing someone.
Most of the time, when a relationship ends, women want to blame the guy for how things started and ended. I want you to know you have more power and the control than you realize. Don’t move things faster than need be. If you tell a guy he has to wait so you can get to know him more and he doesn’t, well, then you know he wasn’t deserving of you. Don’t be so overly ready to please someone else that you leave your feelings open and exposed to getting crushed.
With that being said, I would love to coach a man that would actually listen. However, I know that the men who are serious, experienced and mature, don’t need coaching about being selfish when it comes to dating. They already know this, and they are already know how to be kind and caring.
However, if a man isn’t growing on the inside and seeking to become a better person everyday then he isn’t growing his awareness or consciousness when it comes to women. You want to find the kind of man that knows how to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
At the end of the day, we are all adults. Treating one another with kindness and respect should be the norm. For those rare exceptions when you run into the selfish jerk that isn’t that interested in treating you well, walk away!
There are so many nice guys out there. They are also patiently waiting to meet the nice right girl. Don’t hold it against men who can’t handle a real relationship, but honor yourself and only get involved with the real men who are accountable, aware and conscious of treating others fairly.
If I were to coach men, they’d likely get the same advice I’d give to you. Being patient, waiting and testing out the waters before jumping in really does pay off in the long term.