My Boyfriend Is “liking” Other Girls Pictures On Facebook
“Hey Jonathon, Should I be concerned that my BF “liked” a photo of a beautiful Hispanic girl’s profile pic, a FB friend he just recently friended, or am I being silly/looking into things too much? Mind you that he has never once liked a photo of mine. This is the problem with social media and having too much access into someone else’s life…I’m upset yet don’t know if I should say anything to him about it. I don’t want to come across as the jealous type. He tends to gravitate toward dark haired, dark complicated women. This is a girl he works out with at his gym…” Chrissy
If my girlfriend the therapist (Author of Chatting or Cheating) would respond, it might go something like this:
“Usually when jealousy arises it’s because we are feeling insecure. Are OTHER things also happening in your relationship that are making you suddenly feel insecure about his faithfulness? Are you recognizing there is less attention, appreciation, or affection, being exchanged? Has your relationship settled in and become a little more boring? These are not questions that I need answers for, but YOU should ask yourself. Perhaps it’s time to sit down and have a check in with you BF about how each of you feel about your relationship and how you’d like it grow and deepen.”
While my girlfriend is right on and there seems to be a hint of insecurity, there could be something else going on and here’s my take.
First off, he’s your boyfriend, right? I am assuming you have both declared this and you’re exclusive in the relationship, right? You share regular activities together, like going to dinner and the movies. You have agreed to be monogamous sexually, right? In addition, is your relationship developing into a deep friendship? If all of the above is yes, then chances are there is nothing to worry about and this is merely a harmless “like” for a new friend.
Social media can be a tricky thing in relationships these days and the lines of friendship are getting further blurred with a simple “like” of a pic or a comment on a thread from someone who’s not your partner. This is the cause of much frustration and even insecurity. When a relationship feels off, it’s time to check in and speak up.
For example: I’m in a wonderful relationship with someone who I truly care for and cherish. She feels cared for and cherished because my actions demonstrate that, not just my words. We both are active on Facebook and I occasionally “like” a pic of a pretty woman. I also “like” quotes I see or videos I enjoy, the list could go on and on. What I also do is “like” and share pic’s of my beloved on Facebook. Our relationship is declared and we have no secrets. These are my actions that demonstrate my devotion to this relationship.
Secrecy is what I would be most concerned about but if he’s “liking” someone in plain sight, then it appears to me he is open and honest.
Here’s my recommendation, do what my girlfriend suggests and have a chat with him. Check in with him in a very calm manner and find out what really is going on and share your feelings. Think conversation, not confrontation and look for the “win win” for the both of you. You’ll be glad you did.