When you first start dating again one of the many things you might notice is that Men LOVE, and I mean LOVE, Bitches. You probably start to wonder at some point what she has that you don’t. Is it the breast, how much she works out, is she slurping down some green juice you just gotta get your hands on? Is she in cahoots with some kind of magic? Because men literally fall over bitches like a dog in heat.

Now before I offend you. Let’s first define the word bitch in terms of dating, mating and relating.

B.I.T.C.H is a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

In general there is nothing more attractive than a woman or a man who owns their confidence. The kind of confidence I am talking about is authentic and real and seems to perk up the room when that person walks in. It’s the kind of confidence that attracts attention, and everyone wants to be around them, even you. This kind of confidence makes the world glow. It opens new opportunities, it seems effortless and easy and they have plenty of dating options. Their world looks so good you find yourself either wanting to decode it, or, you’re left feeling completely deflated and ready to throw in the towel.

Let’s face it, confidence is sorely lacking in most people these days, and this lack of confidence is creating havoc and turmoil in their lives. When it comes to dating it could be the difference between landing the right guy or the wrong one. Lack of confidence in yourself can make you feel so bad about yourself that the decisions you make just don’t serve you anymore.

So what’s the biggest factor every babe in total control of herself seems to know that maybe you don’t? Simply put, she knows she is worth it, and it has nothing to do with the green juice or the size and shape of her breast, or even her body type. Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Her self-worth rises up from a different place. A place of meaning and connection. She is connected to the divine within herself.

In fact, the biggest factor when it comes to lacking confidence is a disconnect from one’s own divinity. There are so many people walking around in victim mode or living in shame, and this takes the form of an abandonment of self worth. For women, a lack of confidence in dating can make the road back seem frustrating, hard and downright taxing. You start to think, if men like bitches, then I am better off alone. Or worse, you may settle for the wrong kind of man because you think the men you do like only see the bitches and you are not one of them.

However, before you judge the bitch unfairly take a moment to reflect. You can be a babe In total control of herself by being exactly who you are. And exactly who you are is a divinely created being, who is enough. There are no mistakes in how you were created. You don’t need to be like anybody else in order to attract love into your life again.

Being a babe in total control of herself begins with you. That said, the question isn’t, “How do I take control?” It might be something more like:

Can you love yourself enough? Can that love and worthiness walk into the room instead of a victim mentality. Can you learn from and transform those victimhood stories into fuel for positive development and growth? Can you own your story in such a way that it doesn’t matter what everyone out there thinks of you? Can you start to share who you truly are with the world instead of being silenced by your past?

If you find yourself wanting to be a babe in total control of herself now, then remember that the outer world is a reflection of your inner world. This takes work, ladies, and you have to do the work to get the results.

Bitches have four traits in common:

  • They have done the inner work of mind body and spirit and they have decided to move forward with the best version of themselves
  • They are confident in who they are and they don’t apologize for it
  • They value their time and are selfish with how they use it and give it away
  • They stand up for their truth and they use their authentic, divinely connected voice to communicate with the world around them

Today we live in a fast-paced world, where everyone wants fast results. I’ll be honest, speed isn’t the always the best way to get a man. But if you are a woman who is not just looking for any man, but the right man, then doing the work it takes to become that babe will be worth it.

So get clear with yourself. Learn your values and outgrow bad habits. Decide you are made for more and go be more.

And let’s face it…

Getting clear probably means dealing with those issues of shame and being a victim. That may look like seeing a therapist, reading a book on the subject or talking with a trusted friend. Only you can know how to best let go of what no longer serves you.

Every babe in total control of herself takes care of her body. For you this might mean the green juice ritual, or it may look like a kickboxing class, or a thirty-minute walk everyday. Trust your body to let it tell you how it wants to move. Taking care of your health is at the heart of your own self worth.

Find your voice and use it. Bitches know when and how to say no and when to say yes. That’s why people love to hate her. But the truth is she is having more fun and getting more done because she knows what she values. Stop doing things or hanging out with people who bring you down. Leave room and space to say yes to the things that bring you love.

Get out there so you can explore and discover what you actually like to do. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to have fun. Being the life of the party is about knowing how you want spend your time playing.

If you haven’t caught on, men love the women who truly know themselves and act like themselves. People have this misconception that being a bitch is about being mean and selfish. I say reclaim the powerful positive forces of the bitch. Own your truth, love yourself, and believe in who you are. Share that with the world. Dating will suddenly become just one more area of life where you can experience joy, fulfillment and more connection.

So go ahead, I give you permission to find your inner bitch and unleash her out in the world.